Due to our preliminary testing being completed and looking to start my trial cycles, Dr. Uhler gave me the green light to browse through the donor gallery! At first I thought this would be easy and fun, but once I started to look though it, I realized that not one person was good enough. I know I was being over analytical, but nobody tells you how hard it is to choose half of your baby's genetics to replace your own! We decided to create a list of the three most important things the donor HAD to have in order for us to choose one. It was real tough. We decided on one donor and we felt confident, but 48 hours later we found out news of SIDS ran in the family and opted to pass on that donor. So we needed to start from square one again.
I needed a break because choosing the first donor took a lot emotionally out of me. It turned into a very sensitive topic within hours of us starting to browse through. I didn't think it was going to be an emotional thing until I expereienced it. I had to learn how to remove the personal aspect of this process out. It has to be treated like a business deal. It's not like I am ever meeting this person, nor ever knowing her real name. It was hard for me to look at a picture and to remove the personal side of things. I never experienced that ever in my life being that I am a personable person this was a hard task.
I never officially started to look again but I was just checking the website on September 23 because it is an everyday ritual, I came across a new face and new application! I felt an immediate bond...it was so random! I immediately contacted the donor coordinator at FCI to arrange for us to sign a document to "officially" choose her so we can get started on the consent forms. We are so excited!!! We finally chose a donor we both feel confident about.