Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has an entire new meaning to me.  We do not celebrate just those who gave birth to us, but to those who devoted and sacrificed EVERYTHING from Day 1.  I woke up this morning somewhat sad thinking of, why me?  This day should've felt different to me at this point in our journey.  I was expecting to be celebrating as a mother to be.  However, that is not the case, rather just in spirit.  I quickly jumped out of my pity party and changed the direction...With these thoughts and reflecting on how much emotion, effort, etc we have put into our soon to be child really made me think of the mothers in my life.  I can now say...I get it.  Mothers would go to the end of the earth for their children.  I know first hand that I would do anything and everything for our children who have not even been conceived yet.  This WANT has made me stronger and, in a sense, invincible. There is nothing that will stop me.  I know all mothers are invincible when it comes to their children.  The love of a mother to a child is one of the strongest bonds of all.  Although, my bond is still in the early stage, and I have not even met my child, I can already sense it.  I am already a mother at heart at this stage.

My Mother
Of course being infertile brings on such varied emotions on this day, some expected, some not so much.  I even looked at the smile on my mom's face in a different way.  I know that genuine love that even the smallest of gatherings means the world to her.  Calling my mother-in-law and hearing about her mother's day and catching up is important.  Just the connection between moms and children are powerful.  I never saw the impact of this as much as I did today.  I have a new found respect for all mothers.  I can now relate to that irrational, inconveinient love that you have displayed to us since we could remember.  You have been wonderful examples to me.  You have taught me what it means to be a good mother.  It is this that I know will make me a great mom.  I just feel it in my heart and see it in my dreams.

A good friend of mine shared a poem with me that really hit home for some of the emotions I experienced today.  It is comforting in knowing I am not alone with feeling the emotions I experienced today.  Love you KOB! :)

“Happy Mother's Day”
It comes around every year;
but when you have empty arms,
it's very hard to hear.

It's a day to celebrate a mother,
for all the trials she overcame;
and a reminder to an infertile
of her loneliness and shame.

But what really makes a mother,
Is it just conception and birth?
Or is there something more,
that shows a mother's worth?

It's putting your child first,
in everything you do;
it's sacrifice and determination,
and love and patience too.

An infertile woman makes all her plans,
around a child not yet conceived;
she loves them even though they aren't here,
more than she ever could have believed.

She appreciates and understands,
what a blessing that children are;
she works hard for just a chance,
that motherhood is not that far.

All odds are stacked against her,
and yet she still has hope;
everyday is another struggle,
finding ways to help her cope.

So even though her arms are empty,
she can still be a mother too;
So say a special “Happy Mother's Day”
for those waiting for their dreams to come true!

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