Pat and I attended our first couple's fertility yoga class together with Beth Heller at Pulling Down the Moon at the River North location downtown. Pat was very hesitant at first about attending. Being that he had never done yoga, he wasn't sure if he would be any good at it. I told him not to worry, but it is more about the time for us to share together, connect, learn more about ourselves, and just relax and calm our thoughts. He saw that it meant alot to me to attend so he did not hesitate to continue with it. Also - he thought he could be more flexible. He cracks me up. Our class is every Sunday evening. Usually I hate Sundays to begin with, but this gives us something to look forward to.
When we arrived, we saw many other couples who were all in this same journey as us, but with completely different stories. It was an instant bond between all of us. We all knew why we were there with our partners. It was kind of magical in a weird way; a bond was formed. The room was filled with a shared respect. It is hard to explain that feeling of an instant bond, but this class portrays this idea.
We introduced ourselves and gave each other a little bit of information on our stories, where we are at currently with things, and our future plans. Following introductions, We started poses. Of course, I am next to Pat and it was a pretty neat feeling to be next to him while we are in a very different state of mind. I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. After about 20 minutes of individual combined poses and breathing techniques, I look over at Pat for the first time in between poses and we are both just FULL of sweat as if we just ran a marathon. I smiled and I said I told you this gets pretty intense. I could tell he was liking it alot! He was being challenged by the poses and was doing a fabulous job. I was proud of him! The class closed with couple poses and stretches. We agreed that this was our favorite part. It was a neat energy to experience together. We worked together on the poses and it was pretty fun. As we finished up we laid flat on our backs as we restored back to normal and were preparing to end class as we laid there with our eyes closed next to eachother...I opened my eyes slowly and read a quote on the wall...something I had not noticed the last time I was in the yoga studio... The quote read, "I am happy; I am healthy; I am whole. I closed my eyes again back in restoration mode, and I started to just cry. I was thinking why on earth am I crying. I am in a very happy place, doing yoga with my hubby, and surrounded by such supportive people...why am I crying and why can't I stop?!?!?! I couldn't answer this question for the life of me. As we rolled to our sides and I faced Pat we were instructed to just gaze at eachother as we were awakening...we then instructed to roll up to the seated position and each put our hands on each others heart and synchronize our breathing. We were so connected on a level we never connected on it was very magical. Pat saw the tears I was wiping away and he just smiled and whispered, "why are you crying" and I whispered back, "I don't know, but my eyes won't stop tearing." We put our shoes back on and started to pick up our materials in the studio and grabbed our tea and we were leaving to go home. As we walked along the riverfront, I told Pat about that quote I read on the wall and that is what triggered my tears, and I asked him why did it hit me in a very strange way. His response made 100% sense. (This is why I married him.) He said well, a very important and special part of you (my ovaries) was taken away a long time ago due to the cancer and you have not felt healthy and whole in a very long time. So reading that quote reminding yourself that you are very happy, very healthy, and very whole regardless of your medical past. Even though we have not reached our happy ending yet, doesn't mean we are any less happy, any less healthy, or any less whole. We hugged and walked back to the car. I still don't know how he just gets me like he does....I am convinced he was made for me. I am still being amazed by him everyday.
Our first yoga class was beyond a success!! Pat has a new hobby....he now practices poses throughout the day and wants to make our living room a yoga studio. He is so cute about it. ;-) Fertility couple's yoga was such a great idea for us and where we are at right now in our journey.