It's official...my normal clothes just don't fit anymore. No more attempting...maternity clothes all the way from this point on! I am still feeling very comfortable and I still do not feel too big yet. The cooler weather has been great! The cooler the weather, the less the swelling! I hope it stays for awhile...
At my last doctors appointment, my doctor did the scan and said...so do you want to know the genders...and I responded, I think we already do...2 girls? She said yes! 100% no doubt about it! So exciting! I think Pat and I just love the fact that our girls will have a best friend for life. Any other combination just would not be as close as two girls, and we feel blessed to have such a great combo! Watching my younger twin sisters growing up, I just know they will have such a special bond. I am excited to watch them grow up together and to always have a buddy. :) Plus, I love little girls...girls run in my family...I think the Dennis women are pros at girls at this point! ;) My doctor also went over what our birth plan is and if we are open-minded. She went on to saying, she lets the babies decide. They decide how they want to come out and when. By that she says she will wait to one of the later appointments to see the poisitioning of the babies. I told her we are open-minded and don't mind one way or another. We just want a safe delivery that will result in 20 fingers and 20 toes and some healthy crying! It's crazy we have opened up the conversation about birth plans. Before we know it, we will be in the hospital holding our two baby girls. The girls are very active now. I think that is the way they play throughtout the day (and night!)
Even with all the exciting news pregnancy and babies bring, there was another topic I wanted to talk about at this appointment with the doctor was breast cancer screening post-pregnancy. With being on hormones since I have been 12 and IVF, I worry about my chances at having breast cancer. Not only does breast cancer run in my family, but I once had cancer and know all that it will incur. With my history and family history, I want to have peace of mind. I know that catching cancer at an early stage is the matter between a cure and death sometimes. With my daughters on the way, I want to be around for their lives. The doctor said it isn't a bad idea, and if it is something I want to do we can arrange it after the girls arrive. I feel better knowing I will be checked once these babies are here.
April has arrived!! This means Project: Nursery begins!! It's amazing the images from my dreams are now coming into a reality. We are getting each piece slowly, but surely, but wow. The vibe I get when I walk into the room just gives me the chills. Pretty soon, I will be walking into that room to crying, hungry babies or having tummy time. Just amazing. A few months ago, this was nothing more than fantasy. Now it is 3.5 months away. The feelings of joy we experience is just overwhelming at times. Summer can't come soon enough!
As I reflect, now being more than halfway through my pregnancy, I realize how many people I have met in the past year since we started our journey through IVF. The words IVF, infertility, betas, etc. are all so scary. Even though it took 3 attempts for us to find success, I still continue to attempt to motivate, inspire others to keep moving forward and looking into all these different options that were never an option before. For those still on their journeys, keep going. Don't take no as an answer. Even when you feel you have nothing left, look harder. Find support in your spouse, talk to those who have been through it. There are so many people who can help you. That is the #1 reason I went public with my story. My goal was not only to find support for myself through the path of the biggest unknown, but to also make it a less lonely journey for others who didn't have the courage to talk about it. Just know there is always an option out there for you. If you want to be a mother, you will find a way to be one. I want people to look at my life and think with everything this girl has been through in her life with her string of bad luck and she han't shut out the world and cried alone in her house, and she still managed to be so happy all the time. That was my goal of sharing my story. No matter how bad you think you have it in life, you still can find happiness while you continue your search for good luck. Life is short. Don't waste one minute feeling sorry for yourself or being sad, because it could always be worse. That is what I always told myself. It fed my drive to trudge forward.
Also, on a lighter note, Easter is here! I remember having such a hard time around any holiday because in my mind I was supposed to be pregnant. The holidays would come and go and still no pregnancy...I dreaded holidays until now. Pat did too, because I needed his support the most at these times. Now when people say have a great Easter, I know I will...I am pregnant and well on my way to having my family with my husband. There is no better definition of pure happiness and joy. On that note, have a great Easter and enjoy your families (and soon-to-be families!)
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