10.5 weeks and Nursery Ideas

We are now nearing the end of the first trimester, and I can't wait to see (and feel) what is ahead! This past week has been pretty rough...I was confused because I thought maybe I was getting hit with a bug, but the more I thought about it the more it didn't connect.  Food was just not agreeing with me AT ALL!  Every meal was (and still is) a chore!  I am scared to eat because I know how it is going to make me feel.  I have a taste for NOTHING. At this point, I am eating what keeps me from feeling sick.  I am mainly sticking to finger foods, soup, bagels, and anything else that doesn't make my stomach turn.  I read this is pretty normal especially for this stage, so I am sticking it out because I only have a couple more weeks of these feelings!  The doc says just eat what you can, when you can.  I eat for these little babies. I know they are taking so much from me right now because their growth spurts are so significant right now.  It is amazing how fast they grow! I cant believe each ultrasound we get!  They are so amazing!!  Pat calls/texts me what I eat so he knows if maybe he needs to pick things up from the store or take out if need be. If this is the worst, I will be fine! This is no big deal, in fact, I dreamed of having these feelings one day. My dream as a child was to experience all of pregnancy and what it entails. I am privileged to experience it all. I am a very lucky girl.  Pat has been AMAZING through this! He has picked me up food at every hour of the night, stayed in on our date nights (even though he hates staying in because our days are now numbered!), and letting me just talk about my feelings as they surface.  He is a great partner through this and the more I see and learn about him makes me feel even luckier to have him as my husband.

We woke up this morning, and Pat said jump in the shower we are going to Babies R Us.  I said Really? Why?  He said he wants to just look around, get some ideas for the nursery, maybe find some cute twin things, etc. I said OK! I like that idea! After we get dressed and out the door, we drive over to Naperville to browse.  Pat was looking at the bedding and was HOOKED on having a "Pirate Party" bedding if we have a boy. If we have a girl, he wants to "tutu cute" set. Of course all having to do with animals...mainly monkeys! We were most definitely getting a little silly at the store because I couldn't stop laughing. He was so cute looking at it all and making "his selections".  I said, well what if we have 1 of each? They have to match! He said No! haha Oh boy, I am smiling as I type this because we had so much fun at the store together! We still are undecided , but Pat wants are well-known to me now. I shared my favorite and of course he said no...haha! Oh we still have time. Nothing will be decided until we know the genders anyways. Until then, we are just having fun with it.  We then moved over to the car seats and stroller section, of course Pat picked out the car seats and stroller he wants. (He does the research check and I do the "where can we get the best price" check.) It's teamwork at its finest.  The more we shopped together I just watched his face as he browsed and tried out some products, and I am so excited to see him as a dad. He is going to be such a great dad.  He warms my heart.

My last OB appointment was last week. They have arms and legs now! When the doc was moving the ultrasound around, he said wow, your babies are active now! All I saw were arms and legs moving around in there. It was so amazing and unbelievable. This is all just such an amazing miracle. Baby B is laying right on top of Baby A now.  Will go for next scan in less than 2 weeks! The doctor said after reading my medical history that "You can come in whenever you want, just call and set an appointment, You have already been through so much, you can see your babies anytime you want." I love this doctor!!  This meant alot to me, and I have already taken him up on his offer!

As for belly progress, I can tell I am growing just by the way my clothes feel, but most people can't tell yet. Nothing too pronounced yet, but I can definitely tell when I am changing or in the shower. I am thinking it is still bloat at this time thought because I am reading the babies are measuring at 1-1.5 inches now.

One of Pat's aunts is an OB/GYN in Detroit and wants to do a 3d/4d ultrasound scan on us! We are working on scheduling that right now at an optimal time so she can see the babies and have a wonderful experience with us! How lucky we are! and how fun it is!! :)

Sorry I have been slacking a bit, but this week has been the hardest so far! I promise it will be more frequent as things surface! Until then...I'll probably be sleeping! :)

Frozen Future Babies

I forgot to mention the outcome of the egg retrieval...oops! I was carried away with our good outcome!!  After watching the embryos develop over the course of the five days they were outside the body, 6 fertilized embryos made it to the FINAL STAGE! We transferred two embryos (our twins) and we still have four embryos to use in the future if and when we choose to have more children. It is so nice to know we can try for more children in the future. Right now we definitely have our hands full, but having the option of trying for more cycles to give our twins more siblings, brings me so much joy! Right now we are not talking about more children, but the option is there and that makes this just more amazing!

1st OB Appointment

Today Pat and I had our first appointment with my OB in Naperville. This has all just been so amazing. We loved walking into that office instead of an infertility clinic! It is such a nice change (even though I miss my IRH staff!) As always, I am nervous, but more excited! Being we had our appointment at 9:30am we were one of the first patients of the day so we did not have to wait too long. I did the usual pee in the cup on arrival, weight, blood pressure...(feeling pretty normal at this point!) All checked out well. Even my weight has not changed even though I feel like I am eating more. I think those babies are already sucking up everything I eat. We went over my medical history with the nurse and signed some consent forms and got our Congratualtions on your pregnancy packet. All pretty cool...I had the chills for the entire appointment.

My first question was, since I am carrying multiples, we heard from a friend in Ohio that a periontologist is worth mentioning to monitor me more closely so we can always know the babies and I are healthy throughout the pregnancy. Periontologists are specialists. One of the subtopics of their specialty is pregnancy of multiples. This means more ultrasound checks!! I don't think I can go a whole month without seeing my two peanuts, so this is something I really wanted to happen! My doc said, we always send our mothers-to-be of multiples to periontologists and we work as a team through your whole pregnancy. My OB will deliver the babies, but my periontologist will act as more of a consultant to my OB. Pretty cool, huh? I will be seeing both docs throughout my pregnancy! I truly feel the babies and I are going to be monitored so well this way, and best of all, I get to see them more! :)

Next, Pat and I went into the exam room with the u/s machine. Now time for the good part...seeing the babies! Our doctor came in to do the scan. She tried to do an abdominal u/s, but the babies weren't going to give us a good picture that way, so we went for the vaginal scan. We aren't there yet! Right away I saw the now larger bodies or our two peanuts....they are looking more human! The picture is not very clear, but when we were there, it was very clear! I saw the heartbeats right away! Their hearts are now bigger and much easier to see. Our doc even said lets try to get some sound to these hearts. Baby A was first! What a beautiful sounding heartbeat. I looked at Pat and we were in AWE! We then moved to Baby B and the heartbeat was nice and strong...the sound filled the room. Baby A is measuring at 8w6d and Baby B is 8w1d! Right on schedule! Apparently, you want your twins to differ a tad bit in size.  Poor Baby B...Baby A seems to have such a a large sac. It is definitely claiming a territory in my uterus...They could not be any more perfect! :)

Wow...our twins are proof miracles do happen! They remind us everyday! We are DYING to know the genders...how are we going to wait!!??!?  We are going to find them out as soon as it is detectable. :)

After taking about a dozen pictures and measuring the babies, I got dressed and our doc gave us the info for a periontologist! woo hoo! Pat and I left the office on cloud 9...I think we drifted back to the car..It was a truly amazing day...we are so thankful for our two blessings...

I have been weaned off my PIO shots!!!  yay!! Now I am just on oral estrace and prometrium suppositories! yahoo!!!!

8w,1d...1st trimester fun!

Here I am...still very pregnant with things progressing forward! I am 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant today! This whole pregnancy experience is something nobody could prepare you for. I never thought I could get so tired and so nauseous all at once! Your body changes in every way possible. Right now, it is just a battle to get to the end of the week. I am loving every second of it. I still feel so blessed I get to experience pregnancy! I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin and proud to be who I am. I can already feel a bond. It is just amazing and words can't describe it.

On my way home from work, I was driving home, and I had a flashback to when I was a child and was informed of my news by my pediatric surgeon. If I could thank her now for saving my uterus and allowing me to feel what I feel today, I would. Each day is a gift, and it keeps getting better. I love seeing miracles happen. My life is just so great right now. I love watching Pat be so excited every day. I can already tell he is going to be the best dad and talking about these two peanuts on the way. It brings me so much joy! I want to just hug these two bugs right now!

As I get closer to our gender determination, I am going to make predictions on what I feel I am having based on my symptoms and gut feeling. As of today, I am feeling a boy and a girl. Again, this may change, but today I feel we are going to have one of each. :)  It will be interesting to see if this changes. Pat has the same feeling as of today. It is interesting. I did have a baby dream this week and we had a baby boy in the dream. So does this mean we are having at least one boy? hmmm... :)

We do have names picked out for every combination these two peanuts could be. The plan is to share the names when we find out the genders. Pat did not want to share the names until their birth, but I think I talked him into sharing a little bit sooner. It is amazing how much you go back and forth and make changes to the names. We finally agreed on names for each gender and we love the final selections! We can't wait to share them with everybody! :)

Our next ultrasound and bloodwork is this Friday! I CAN'T WAIT to see the babies again! This time they are going to look more human and are going to be bigger. Again, making this feel so much more real.  Dr. Scheiber is gradually taking away my meds slowly but surely. Of course this scares me because my meds are like my security blanket, but if he got us to this point, I trust him with our babies lives.

I got my first "You are starting to show." at work today. YIKES!! I am only at 8 weeks! I read online it is just bloat, but I am not sure if that is for one baby or two. I am guessing one.  Anyways, I am definitely bloated for sure and it is pretty obvious, well at least to me.  My pants are getting a little more snug in my waist area, which is exciting!

I will keep you all posted on Friday's appointment and scan! Also, I may put up belly pictures in the near future.  I have a feeling I will be showing very very soon.

1st Ultrasound - 6.5 weeks

Our first ultrasound was scheduled for 10am in Cincinnati with Dr. Scheiber doing our 6-week ultrasound.  Pat and I arrived Thursday afternoon to my in-laws home.  It has worked out so well this way. As the ultrasound got closer I was becoming more and more nervous...I would have thoughts, "What is something is wrong?" What if the baby isn't healthy?"  Every worry ran through my mind...I guess it is typical for a mother to worry...I am learning this quickly! 

The next morning was now here. We got up with our alarms and started to shower and get ready for the big day! Pat said he was not nervous...I don't know if I believed him... My mother-in-law joined us for this ultrasound to grab a quick glimpse at what was to be seen.  We waited in the waiting room and waited for my name to be called. Within minutes..Kathleen Davis? Are you ready? I leaped up and Pat and I walked in to have my blood drawn first. I was a nervous wreck talking to the nurse how I was..she eased my nerves and said this will be great...nothing to worry about. She said she even gave us the cool room where I get my own ultrasound screen!

I undressed and waited for Dr. Scheiber to do my ultrasound. He entered the room with a HUGE smile on his face! He is always very cheery. You can tell he has such a passion for what he does.  He logged into the machine and said, "Let's see what we made!" lol my nerves were relieved when he said that statement. He always says the right things to ease my nerves.

The twins!

He started the ultrasound and right away I saw 2 big black sacs...Pat and I knew immediately, or at least a good idea. We just waited to confirm the heartbeats in both sacs. Dr. Scheiber said he wanted to finish measuring and checking to make sure everything looked healthy before explaining the picture to us.  Then he preceded to tell us, "Not only did we do better than Chicago, but we did TWICE better." You are having twins! He showed us the heartbeats of both babies and we couldn't believe this was happening to us...we never get good news!  He said "here is your first little peanut" and pointed to the heartbeat, and then said "here is your second little peanut" and pointed to the heartbeat. What a great change!!!

Pat went to get his mom from the waiting room to get a glimpse at her grandchildren on the way. When Pat came back in the room, Dr. Scheiber introduced her to her TWO grandchildren. She joined the group emotion of pure shock! Our hearts were all flying high in the ultrasound room.

Dr. Scheiber went over some basic pregnancy info with us. It was hard to pay attention because we were just so excited to hear we have TWO healthy little peanuts! Dr. Scheiber then hugged me and shook Pat's hand and said congrats! He said you will need another check at 8-weeks and slowly will be weaned off my medications. I will be able to do my next ob scan in Chicago making this our last Cincy doctor visit.  He left the room and I changed. When I was finished changing the entire nursing staff was waiting outside the room and wanted to hug and congratulate us and see pictures!  IRH gave us such the greatest experience! They truly are an amazing staff and I am so glad Pat and I were able to work with them for this miracle.  You just feel like family there! 

I will still be in close contact with Dr. Scheiber for a few more weeks and then I move onto my OB/GYN. We will find out the genders in March.

For something we thought was impossible, is now our reality. I am going to be a mother and Pat is going to be a father.  Our family will officially double in August.  We are getting our family that we worked so hard for in 7.5 months!  I still wake up smiling and rubbing my tummy. Everyday I am living a dream and it will only get better. We will have two peanuts soon and we could not be any more happier than we are right now...well maybe in 7.5 months. :)

Please continue prayers for me and the babies...we are hoping for a healthy and long pregnancy so these babies come out nice and plump!

Being Pregnant :)

Well, now I have been pregnant for just about 2 weeks.  All I can say is that I am loving every second of it.  I am realizing I worry about whatever is in my tummy 24/7.  Apparently, this is what motherhood is all about, so I hear...and this is just the beginning! haha  My mom laughs at me and my worries.  Anyways, my symptoms have remained the same.  However, I am more fatigued and more nauseous.  I am on the verge of gagging every time I eat.  LOVING it though!  I can sleep all day every day...even sitting up. My temp is still always 99.5.  I feel like a walking furnace. :)  Also, at work one of the physical therapists I work with was with a patient walking down the hallway.  As I walked by she looked at me and whispered, "Are you pregnant?" I said why do you say that?  She said I can see it in your face...you are on the verge of throwing up and my posture was leaning forward.  You just look a little different than your everyday self.  I laughed and said wow, that was impressive! and yes, I do feel sick and sleepy.  She said she has a sixth sense for this.  Apparently, she does!  Also - my lower abdomen is completely bloated!  It is too early for a baby bump just yet...but for those that know what is going on knows I am extremely bloated and definitely is not subtle, which is OK with me. :)

I have been feeling some stretching in my uterine area, especially last night.  From what I hear, that is a good thing! I have called the nurses at IRH twice now asking for an earlier ultrasound because I am now 5w3d and Jan 6th I will be about 6.5 weeks.  They said I will not see much before that and that it will be worthwhile to wait since my numbers were so high...there is no doubt.  So I wait...and I am finally ok with waiting on this end of the spectrum.  I can't wait to see what is inside me.  It already is such an amazing feeling.  I already know I am going to need to bring the tissues with me to the ultrasound...January 6th can't come soon enough! :)

For now I just put my hands on my tummy, and rub my baby(s) and just wonder what I will see on Jan 6.  I am going to enjoy every step of this pregnancy and not rush or wish time to pass.  I am right where I have wanted to be for a long time now.  Life is good and could not be any better right now.

Sharing Our Happy Christmas News! :)

The joy of sharing our happy news with others was something we talked about earlier prior to our high beta numbers and positive hpt. We know we are still VERY early in this pregnancy, but we felt that sharing our happy news with others while the news was fresh was best. I have always told my story as it happens regardless of it's happy or sad tone. I am known for writing the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I never pick and chose what I decide to share with others - I share it all. There are ups and downs in this process, and sharing them as they happen is real life and this is what I am all about. So our decision was easy. We decided to share our news with everybody as it happens and we are so happy we did. It is just who we are. :)

The day we announced our happy news, we were flooded with calls, texts, facebook posts and messages, etc. by our friends and family. We felt the love that day to say the least.  Thank you for reaching out to us and writing us your sweet messages. We continue to feel overjoyed and extremely blessed this holiday season. Each and every message means so much to us! Thank you! We have the BEST support system!

Our first ultrasound is on Friday, January 6 in Ohio with Dr. Scheiber at IRH! I will be a little over 6 weeks so we should be able to see the heartbeat. We can't wait!  Dr. Scheiber has been communicating his joy to us while he is on vacation as he is off this week. I love his emails! His emails are one of the things that make me feel such a personal connection with him. His door is always open and he responds within hours (even while on vacation)! :)

Have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy time with family.  I know we will... :)  We have been given our Chirstmas wish of a lifetime. We feel so blessed and have been given everything we wanted this year. We have so much to look forward to! :)

2nd Beta

and the report is in....477!!!  Still super high and strong! It doubled very nicely! Doctor was pleased and is ready to schedule our 6-week ultrasound! No date has been scheduled at this point, but it will most likely be Friday, January 6th! We will go back and give Dr. Scheiber the BIGGEST hug and thank him for everything as he scans our little miracle!  The nurse told us we can hear and see the heartbeat as well... Oh the joys to look forward to! :)

Also, Pat and I walked into a Carters baby store for the first time as "expectant parents"  We were just in a state of awe for what is to come. We used to go into these stores with a dream and now we are living that dream. We are just beaming with excitement!!!! :)

Symptoms at this point -

*Constantly warm - my body temperature has been elevated to a low-grade fever temperature (my body is working overtime...I can feel it!)

*No taste for food

*I had 3 pimples in the middle of last week and I can't remember the last time I even had a pimple! Luckily, they are starting to go away!

*Fatigue all day

That is about it! Other than that I feel completely normal! Hopefully this is the extent of it for the 1st trimester! One can hope.... :)

WE ARE PREGNANT! :)

Well, we got our good news that we have been waiting 1 year to hear! Our beta was 248.7 on 8dp5dt!  That is a nice and strong beta! Our morning started long before our beta though....

I woke up at 7am...early to bed early to rise...I fell asleep early the night before by the Christmas tree. When I woke up in bed, I thought should I test...no! I stopped myself...I cant possibly see ANOTHER negative on those stupid hpts!  An experience I knew all too well.  Some of my worst IVF memories include those stupid sticks! I looked at Pat while he was sleeping...I laid there for another hour praying/meditating and decided I am just going to do it but will need Pat's help because I am not that strong! I said Pat I am going to take a test...he responded no...why would you do that?  I said ok fine I won't... (he was right, I turn into a crazy person). About 10 minutes later he said you can take a test...you pee and I will go and look at the results...I agreed with reluctance...

I walked to the bathroom and opened my last hpt from our cycle last february...I did the deed and tried to get myself out of there as fast as humanly possible.  To much surprise, before I could make my getaway...there was that beautiful 2nd line!  It appeared within seconds!  Quick and dark!  I started to shake as I lifted it up and yelled "Pat...I am pregnant!" I ran into our bedroom and showed Pat the stick and he both started to cry and hugged!  We felt this can't be happening! This is not our lives...Pat said get your shoes on we are going to Rush Hospital downtown to the lab (where Pat works) to run the beta.  One of the perks to hubby working in a hospital medical lab! :)  A Beta is the test doctors run to see how high the pregnancy hormone is in your blood indicating if it is a viable pregnancy. We were both so excited and couldn't stop shaking of pure joy! 

An hour later Pat had one of his co-workers draw my blood and run the test.  In the meantime, Pat enjoyed a coffee as we walked through the hospital as my blood vial sat in the machine so we could get the results immediately! We made phone calls as well!  We returned back to the lab and Pat said to wait in the break room as he grabbed the results from the machine.  My beta was 248.7 at 8dp5dt! Pat was fist pumping in the lab when he first picked up the report and said Katie you have to read this...I looked at it and I said...holy cow!!!  No way!!!  This is a VERY high beta!  yowzers!

We are over the moon....we are PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It feels amazing to be on the other side...Please keep praying for a healthy pregnancy!  We are proof that miracles do happen everyday! What an amazing Christmas miracle. God is good! :)

Pat, You're Up to Bat...

It's crazy to think that this summer, our cycle seemed like an eternity away.  It was strange because that patience I have lacked pretty much my entire life started to kick in.  I was finally not feeling a sense of "rushed" and kind of went to my own drum, letting the situation take it's course because when I finally stopped trying to control the my bad news train situation, things were falling into place all around me without effort. New job = new benefits, new egg donor, (good friend), new doctor, new ideas, support system growing exponentially, even helping me stock my inventory of drugs I was lacking a few of.  It's just been an amazing epiphany.

Egg retrieval is here! This is pretty much one of the most important steps of the process.  The quality of eggs is the #1 reason of diagnosed infertility. So basically what we are able to get here, gives us a good outcome of what is to come.  It all started at 3am this morning.  (Yep! I was up!)  I couldn't sleep...the same feelings a child gets on Christmas Eve.  I prayed, meditated, took time to reflect...it was rather nice...time actually was flying.  The stillness and peacefulness was just what I think I needed.  I had alot to pray and thank God for.  I also, poked Pat, (by the way - not looking to join me in my silences).  He was refusing to wake up until the alarms went off...understandably so...can't blame the guy! At 545 we were up showering and getting ready for what is the first major step of this process. Pat stayed in bed a tad bit longer to meditate to ease some of the pressure...yes, guys feel the pressure too.  Today was his day to shine. 

We arrive 15 minutes early and sign some papers and off Pat went with a grin on his face.  He always feels so self-conscious for this part. (teehee)

Samie was due to the office 45 minutes before us for her egg retrieval.  Side note: I texted her when I was up by myself to share my excitement pretty early...  I figured she would get a kick out of it when she woke up.  She was well into her procedure by the time we got there. Her boyfriend was waiting in the lobby waiting for her to finish up and help her recover. We were all in a quiet mood...it was before sunrise...he was a trooper.

For a space in time, I was alone in the lobby, Samie in one room, Pat in another, well there was the lab receptionist I guess.  I brought my St. Gerard medal and just held it and ran it through my fingers.  I took a few moments to look around and give the outcome of all of this to God.  I am letting everything go, and just letting it be, for I know this is all out of my control at this point and is all up to the big guy upstairs.  I looked around the room and could not believe the situation I had in front of me.  In one room, I had a husband who I love more than life itself, and in another room, I have a good friend who has been so kind enough to donate eggs to us.  I was surrounded by people full of love.  I thought about when I was a child that having this situation to deal with later in life would be a form of "shunning" or being "ashamed" (I was a child, I didn't know much about everything in the IVF world. I just knew I wouldn't be normal.)  There I was surrounded by love and support from everybody I know.  If only I could've told this to the 12-year-old girl in a hospital bed. :)

When Pat walked out, we were done and were told we would get a call later with the results from one of the IVF nurses...I knew Samie would text me as she was in the procedure room finishing up if she could, so we knew well before the "official" report. Her enthusiasm with this has been real high so she is eager to pass info to me relatively quickly.  Love that about her!  I love the whole known donor route...it has been much more fun knowing her and has been way less complicated! We couldn't be any happier with our situation!

As for the results, the goal was to get 12-15 eggs, but Dr. Scheiber was able to retrieve 18 EGGS from Samie! They looked nice and big which is a great sign!  WOOT WOOT!  I did a happy dance as I received Samie's text.  I was glowing from the inside out.  This news could not have been any better! Now we wait for the fertilization report and the daily reports after that to see how our little buggaboos are doing in the lab.  I can't wait to get these phone calls...  Also - we will get an idea of when our transfer will be.  Exciting!

Right now Pat and I are both excited and feel optimistic for this cycle.  Things have been moving smoothly for us. (for once!) We hope it stays this way...hopefully this could be the end of one journey and the start of another...right now we are wishing with everything we have for our miracle to happen; our dream to come true.

Thank you to all those who sent emails, texts, facebook messages, etc. to us at this time.  Your support brings such a nice calmness to us...just knowing we have friends and family out there thinking and praying for us everyday helps us feel our prayer network is working in full force.  I am a true believer in prayer networks...I know they work!  We love you all and would not be as strong as we are without all of you. :)

A Hop, Skip, and a Jump Away

Things are looking great so far!  Samie had 11 nice and big follicles on Tuesday and she was only on stims for 5 days!  Right now she seems to be feeling very uncomfortable and bloated which means egg retrieval is coming up quick!  She says it is pretty painful at this point.  I never had the opportunity to experience that half of the process.  It sounds intense.  Of course my heart aches for every ache and pain she feels.  I wish there was something I could do for her to take some of her pain away.  I wish it were me rather than her, but that is just not our situation. :(  In a way, her pains mean that the meds are working!  The more uncomfortable she feels the more the effect of the meds on her body.  I am happy her body has been responding so well to the meds! It sounds like egg retrieval is coming up! It feels like everyday I am getting a call on updates on both me and her from IRH. Yep...things are looking good!  I am looking forward to how many follicles she has tomorrow! ...and when the egg retrieval is scheduled!  Samie, hang in there girl! You got this...  Thanks for showing women everywhere how strong and amazing people can be.  You truly are an inspiration to others and we could not have asked for a more perfect person to help us.  You will never know how much you have touched my heart through this process. I am forever changed by your selfless act of kindness. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to have a family. :)

My monitoring appointment was today and things are looking good!  Ultrasound and bloodwork came back great.  I am layering up beautifully.  I got to see my friends over at FCI Naperville.  It was so good to see all the familiar faces!  I loved our little reunion.  I could have spent my entire morning just catching up with them.  It is nice that they wish us the best with this cycle and are rooting for us.  I most definelty will keep you all updated! 

Everybody please keep Pat, Samie, and I in your prayers.  We need them now more than ever!

Friends are Everywhere

A BIG Thank You goes to all that have donated Vivelle patches to me recently!!!  It still amazes me that people are continually so generous to us.  We are constantly reminded that we have really made some AMAZING friends through this process!!  Thank you for your donations to us!!  Love all of you!  I know all your patches are full of good luck too! :) 

Is Your Mama a Llama?

I thought this video was pretty interesting considering we are about to have an egg donor cycle!  I have always wondered how this process will affect the child later in their life (especially the teenage years).  I have always been at peace with this decision, because I never had a decision in the process.  Everything was decided for me when I was a child.  I had a decade and some years to understand and accept this situation for what it was, and I have.  I feel extremely lucky I still have options available to me.  To me, it was always, this is a miracle that I would be even able to carry a baby with all the scientific advances and techniques we have available to us.  After watching a short interview with an egg donor child, it answers some of my questions I did have.  Of course all situations are different and all people differ with how they feel or what they share, but watching this video brings comfort to me.  This is an extremely prevelant avenue to explore and used to increase chances for IVF couples.  The statistics are in our favor.  A family is a family no matter how they come to be.  I think the child really gets a good sense of how badly they were really wanted before they were even conceived, and that is a pretty cool feeling.  :)

After speaking with several psychologists about this topic, we were asked how and when we would share the truths about our conception story with our future child(ren).  We both had the same answer...as early as possible.  Being on the same page with this makes life so much easier.  The sooner the better for everybody!  Having secrets only confuses everybody.  As stated in the video, we want our children's identity to be known from a very early age so they didn't have to figure it all out later in life.  We want our child to have a full understanding of how they came to be and to always be able to ask us questions about it whenever the questions would surface.  Being open and honest is what we feel is the best policy for us!

Interview with an Egg Donor Child

Our Guardian Angel...is now a blogger too!!!

With all the hoopla getting ready for our upcoming cycle, our egg donor and I are constantly texting, chatting, phoning, or what have you...The thing is, my last egg donor was anonymous. I was blinded by the other half of this process. I only was able to hear the facts- the medical updates. Sure those were important, but now I am so curious to hear from her angle. Our egg donor, Samie has become interested in writing a blog of her own. It is entitled, "The Hopeful Stork". You will feel her positivity, high energy, and passion shine through.

We all know that it takes a very special person to donate. It takes a warm, generous, and loving person to truly "get" the time, emotional tug, and efforts of each step of the process. With Samie starting her own blog, I thought how cool is this?! We can link our blogs together to make it a complete story! Also - we get a glimpse of the other side that I have and will ever experience. Her explanations of the emotional and physical journey she is about to go on is all there. As the recipient of her eggs, I am so intrigued and I know this will help educate people on what the process ACTUALLY entails straight from an egg donor! As she calls it "the truth". This will show you the physical hurdles, the emotional demands, the often incoveinent process, yet rewarding all in the same breath. Sounds like alot, right? Well, her side of the story will be covered as well. Also - I am sure she will experience different emotions with this cycle because she knows us and will be able to hear the outcome as we find out the news. Before she was an anonymous donor and did not get to follow up with the results. Feel free to follow her side of the journey as well as mine! It already is such an amazing story thus far and you will be able to know why Pat and I feel so honored to be her recipient couple.

http://ivfthehopefulstork.blogspot.com/

She is amazing in every sense of the word. Her blog had me cry already and I haven't even started my hormones yet! haha She is our guardian angel and the words "thank you" doesn't even begin to cover the gratitude we are already feeling....

Our nurse coordinator, Lizzie called me today from IRH and FDA testing was all cleared today!! WOO HOO!! (Yes, we talk just about daily!) We are cleared to start! She mentioned to me that Samie was so tickled and excited to be doing this for us and it is so sweet to see from her position. She says you know this just feels so right and now knows what I was referring to when I talked her up so much at my last appointment. I always seem to get the chills when talking about her....

I was always told by my mother as a child, "Yes, your baby may have some physical traits that look like your future egg donor, but it will have your heart. But what I shared with my mom today, "I knew she would be the best donor because not only is she a beautiful person on the outside, but she also has the biggest heart...and that is the one most important trait I want my baby (or babies) to possess.

Treatment plan now has dates set to it. Yep, this is the part where it starts to feel so real! Medications are ordered and picked up, dates are set, and yes - Christmas is right around the corner....are you thinking what I am thinking? :)

The Foundation: Me and You

“I, Kathleen Megan, take you, Patrick Lloyd….”

This time one year ago, I was beginning my first whole day of being married. I was probably finishing up getting my hair and makeup done, and was getting ready to dance the night away with my brand new husband. Possibly still engraving each second of our wedding in my memory. The last week has been full of memories for me. I remember how it felt to go through my last week of "single", finalizing schedules for the big day that was coming in 6...5..4.. days.  And then the Friday before the wedding came, and our guests had arrived, and thinking "holy cow, this is it!!!!".  The rehearsal dinner at Papa Joes, and the best pasta and wine ever surrounded by our closest friends and family from all over the country.  Life was good. I stayed up talking to my mom to the wee hours of the morning in my bed, overcome with so many emotions - still in disbelief it was the day before OUR wedding. I couldn't believe I was staying at the house I grew up in on my LAST night as a Dennis girl.

                                    
“To be my lawfully wedded husband….”

And then the day arrived. Saturday morning dawned bright, beautiful and crisp - the PERFECT fall day that I dreamed it would be.  It was November in Chicago not a cloud in sight!  Having all my sisters and closest friends come to my house at 6am to get ready. I remember laughing. A lot. And smiling so much my face hurt. Getting ready with my girls and having my hair done by the same woman who shaved my head during my cancer treatments and my makeup done by a MAC makeup artist. It was every girls fairytale dream.  The last minute jewelry decision, the "don't forget perfume", "have you eaten today?", "drink water!", "who has the rings?" questions and demands. My heart was racing all morning knowing that 1:00pm was coming so fast. And then! It was time. My mom pulled everyone together to leave for the church as the limo arrived 15 minutes late, and then it was time to walk inside the church and waiting the last five minutes to see my love. I read his letter he had written to me seconds away from walking down the aisle.  I cried reading his last words as we being two singles.  Already tears were in my eyes knowing I was marrying the man made for me. I remember not looking at my dad while we waited to walk the aisle because I knew he would be my tipping point and I would start bawling. I remember the way he looked at me and said it's about that time with a fatherly smile showing how proud and happy he was and laced his fingers with mine and proudly walked me down the aisle and gave me to Pat. And then all I remember were Pat's eyes. He grabbed for my hand with a smile so big.  Also - The way he held mine through the entire ceremony whispering "you are soooooo beautiful"... His voice as he vowed to love me forever. And then the magic words "man and wife"!!!!! ....I had a husband....!  It was the wedding of our dreams...the ultimate fairytale wedding.

“To have and to hold from this day forward....”

And it's already been a year. I can't believe how much has happened in the space of a year. How much we've had to adjust to each other, learn from each other, and depend on each other for the highs and lows life has thrown at us.  We are a strong couple.  Without Pat, I could not face alot that I am currently facing.  He shows me what is important in life and how to be the best person I can be. For those that know us, we complement eachother perfectly. We are two opposites that did attract. We fill the voids of eachother's weaknesses making us 1 complete whole. We show eachother different experiences. Together we are a dynamic duo and can beat anything and I truly believe this.  For the first time, I am not scared of anything life throws at me because at the end of everyday I know I have the best husband who completes who I am. I am very lucky to have found him. Even after one year of marriage everyday seems just a little better than the day before. I could not have asked for a better partner in life.

“Until death do us part.”

Pat, you are without a doubt, the man of my heart. I love you more today than I did a year ago. My respect for you has grown, and I love finding ways to honor you. I will strive to create a home filled with love, acceptance, courage and grace. My heart is forever held by you.  You are an amazing man, and I am so proud, and blessed, to call you my husband.
 

Happy First Anniversary, my love, my friend, my Husband.